Terms of Endearment ?

     Couples often opt to call their significant others by terms of endearment rather than their given birth names. Such terms of endearment range from the sophisticated old school "Darling" or "Dear" to the Ghetto "Ma" or "Shorty" to the food inspired "Pumpkin" or "Muffin" to the cutesy "Sweetie(pie)" or "Honey" to the confident, yet unoriginal "Babe".
     My thoughts on this are as follows: what is wrong with your significant other's name? Well, their name can be ugly. Yes, names can be ugly i.e. Dick, Bob, Curtis. Be honest, if you can't call their name out without cringing or turning red from embarrassment, then they definitely need a nickname. Or, maybe their name is just one of the hundred common names out there i.e. Michelle, Sarah, Ashley, Brian, John, Michael, etc. If they have one of these common names, obviously you wouldn't want to call them by it because god forbid you are in the middle of the street and you call their name and 5 heads turns your way. However, the same can be said of the common terms of endearment I listed above.
     Basically, there is no winning with terms of endearment. I am guilty of calling my ex "Sweetheart" and he of calling me "Babe". My father and stepmother use cutesy names "Honey" and "Sweetheart." One of my best friends terms of endearment for each other were "Mr. and Mrs. Babe".
     But, most of all, nothing is worse than using Ghetto terms of endearment. Firstly, Ghetto language makes no sense half the time. A legitimate word is taken and used in a way that has nothing to do with it's original meaning. Take "Shorty", for example. "Short" is the opposite of tall, a synonym for small, especially in reference to the height of something. In most relationships, the female is usually shorter, so I guess that is why the term "Shorty" was thought up. However, calling your 5'11 girlfriend "Shorty" is just plain stupid. "Ma",  in Ghetto speak, is short for "Baby Mama" or "Mamasita"(little mama). Now, I'm not sure how well you are familiar with psychology, but the underlying intent and meaning for these names are very clear and since you may not get it, I will tell you. Statistically, the parenting styles of the lower class New York families are very poor. As such, the children of now and the future are growing up without genuine mother and father figures. Ghetto males seek out the repeat images of their mothers, young women who made bad choices and got knocked up. They are also subconsciously looking for someone to take care of them. Hence, they search for their "Baby Mama" to mother their children and "Mamasita"s to give them the love and care they crave.
     While, nothing is worse than Ghetto terms of endearment, nothing is more sickening and embarrassing as food inspired names. Why call someone "Pumpkin"? Are they shaped like one? Do they resemble a genuine pumpkin in some way? Why "Muffin" or "Cookie"? Are these their favorite snacks? If that is the case, then what if the person's favorite food is chicken or papaya? Point blank, food inspired terms of endearment are ridiculous.
     If you must use a term of endearment, make it original and mean something to you. For example, my father's personal term of endearment for my stepmother is "Tweak". Not because she does drugs! She is called Tweak because she has a squeaky voice sometimes and used to drink coffee five times a day to the point where she was always shaking from the caffeine overdose.
     Come up with a personal term of endearment for your current loved one. Of course, it is expected that the term may very well end up something mundane and simple like "Cookie" or "Teddy", but the point is that it should mean something to you and them. It is a simple symbol of your endearment for one another.