Mercedes Strollers

     What is it with mothers and the designer strollers nowadays? You know what I'm talking about: the gigantic strollers that take up the entire sidewalk. What ever happened the good old-fashioned $30 strollers that fold up like an umbrella? Those strollers meet the needs a stroller is supposed to be for: baby transportation. Who decided those weren't good enough anymore? And, who decided that only these expensive designer strollers aka Mercedes Strollers (as I dubbed them) were the new thing every mommy needs?
     They're annoying! They get in the goddamn way. If I'm walking down a street, I want to be able to continue my path, not dodge out of the way of an incoming stroller. That's just ridiculous.
     It's even more ridiculous because these mothers spend hundreds and, possibly, thousands of dollars on these Mercedes Strollers so they can look rich and sophisticated, when in over a year that baby they bought the stroller for is going to be walking all on their own. They won't need the stroller anymore.
     Ok, so they might save it for their future babies if they are planning on having them. Or, since they were rich enough to buy that stroller, I'm going to go ahead and say- they won't save it. Rich people have no sense of preservation. They want fresh things, new things, all the time. Do they donate their strollers when they no longer want them? Maybe, maybe not.
     All I know is that I would never get a Mercedes Stroller. I would be so embarrassed pushing that gigantic thing around. It's obnoxious.
     Why can't these rich moms carry their babies? Is it because their babies are not fashion friendly? Is that it? Is it not fashionable to carry your baby? No, that can't possibly be it, because if it is fashionable to carry a miniature dog in your designer bag, it must be fashionable to carry your baby- all you have to do it dress it up in expensive fashionable clothes.
     Lady, you carried your baby around for nine months. I'm sure you can carry your baby around for another year while they are learning to walk. Besides the baby lifting will burn the calories of pregnancy-weight you gained, it'll be helpful to get your pre-baby body back.
     If you're too lazy or weak to carry your own offspring, don't buy an expensive stroller. Buy a $30 stroller that does the same exact thing as the Mercedes ones. Use the money you were going to spend on that stroller for something better like more baby supplies, or a college trust fund for your bundle of joy, or a charity of some kind.
     Rich moms please stop buying Mercedes strollers and getting in everyone's way! I'm sure it's a hassle. I see you struggling to push the damned things. Save yourself the humiliation and money. Be cheap and stay a little more richer, while also keeping the streets a little less crowded without your gigantic hassle in the way.