I do not have any full blooded siblings, but I am the oldest of eight. My parents divorced when I was two, so I have no happy memories of a true family for me. My mother, met a Jamaican man from work and they hit it off. Apparently, they hit if off very well since they are still together and have had three children after me. My father had a bit of a rougher time finding the next Mrs. Right. He remarried twice after the divorce with my mother. With my ex-stepmother he had three children, and with my current stepmother, I gained a stepsister and the youngest half blood sibling was born when I was eleven.
Though I am the oldest of eight, I have only lived with my mother, Jamaican stepfather, and half-Jamaican siblings. I held no animosity towards anyone. I am not one of the children who have been scarred by divorced parents. I was two, when it happened and have no recollection of anything to be mourned about the break of their marriage vows to spend eternity together. I would like to believe that I was a good older sister. I held my younger siblings, fed them, changed them, etc. But, growing up in a home with a Chinese mother and Jamaican father does not exactly give room for a family bred in warmth and love.
My father's side is different. Although he divorced my ex-stepmother, they continue to remain in touch and he takes care of her, because she is mentally unstable. My father is nothing but a hippie love bug. My entire family on my father's side is full of warmth and support for anything and everything you do or believe.
My family is divided and always has been. It is the way I grew up. I don't exactly know what it is like to love a family member for who they are, rather than what they are. Does that not make sense? I feel like it is a concept a little difficult to understand. You see, I don't know if it is because history and society ingrained in us: this idea that "blood is thicker than water" or if it is genetic or just in our mental subconsious that we need to support, love, and accept family irregardless of anything.
I bring this up because alot of what I do for my family- it's not because I want to, it's because I feel obligated. That is my point. Being in my family, you feel obligated to do things, like you have to because they are your blood. But, I don't want to. I don't want to do half the things I do. And, before you say, "we'll that's probably because you suck". I don't. I would gladly do anything for friends. I want to help friends. I feel like my friends are my real family. They see the real me, while my family does not. Which brings me to another point.
My family doesn't know me. I come from a family of skilled liars. I knew how to lie when I was little and my skills only grew with age. I can lie to anyone for any reason anytime. And, I lie because I know if my family saw the real me, they wouldn't accept it. Already they see something in me they don't like and they try to change me, to convince me to be like them.
I don't want to be like them. I don't want to be like anyone. I want to be myself and I can only do that with my friends.
Blood is thicker than water. This only means they love me because I am blood, not because of who I am. Because, I know who I am upsets them all. In a family of logical thinkers and doers, I strive to be the dreamer and pursuer. My friends, though, they love me for me and not what I am. They are my true family. Blood means nothing if there is no peace and acceptance of one's self. I could live without family, but my friends, mean the world to me. They are my water, my nourishment to thrive to be who I am. They are the ones helping me to become a better person and work harder to achieve my dreams.
Thursday, May 24, 2012
Monday, May 21, 2012
Terms of Endearment ?
Couples often opt to call their significant others by terms of endearment rather than their given birth names. Such terms of endearment range from the sophisticated old school "Darling" or "Dear" to the Ghetto "Ma" or "Shorty" to the food inspired "Pumpkin" or "Muffin" to the cutesy "Sweetie(pie)" or "Honey" to the confident, yet unoriginal "Babe".
My thoughts on this are as follows: what is wrong with your significant other's name? Well, their name can be ugly. Yes, names can be ugly i.e. Dick, Bob, Curtis. Be honest, if you can't call their name out without cringing or turning red from embarrassment, then they definitely need a nickname. Or, maybe their name is just one of the hundred common names out there i.e. Michelle, Sarah, Ashley, Brian, John, Michael, etc. If they have one of these common names, obviously you wouldn't want to call them by it because god forbid you are in the middle of the street and you call their name and 5 heads turns your way. However, the same can be said of the common terms of endearment I listed above.
Basically, there is no winning with terms of endearment. I am guilty of calling my ex "Sweetheart" and he of calling me "Babe". My father and stepmother use cutesy names "Honey" and "Sweetheart." One of my best friends terms of endearment for each other were "Mr. and Mrs. Babe".
But, most of all, nothing is worse than using Ghetto terms of endearment. Firstly, Ghetto language makes no sense half the time. A legitimate word is taken and used in a way that has nothing to do with it's original meaning. Take "Shorty", for example. "Short" is the opposite of tall, a synonym for small, especially in reference to the height of something. In most relationships, the female is usually shorter, so I guess that is why the term "Shorty" was thought up. However, calling your 5'11 girlfriend "Shorty" is just plain stupid. "Ma", in Ghetto speak, is short for "Baby Mama" or "Mamasita"(little mama). Now, I'm not sure how well you are familiar with psychology, but the underlying intent and meaning for these names are very clear and since you may not get it, I will tell you. Statistically, the parenting styles of the lower class New York families are very poor. As such, the children of now and the future are growing up without genuine mother and father figures. Ghetto males seek out the repeat images of their mothers, young women who made bad choices and got knocked up. They are also subconsciously looking for someone to take care of them. Hence, they search for their "Baby Mama" to mother their children and "Mamasita"s to give them the love and care they crave.
While, nothing is worse than Ghetto terms of endearment, nothing is more sickening and embarrassing as food inspired names. Why call someone "Pumpkin"? Are they shaped like one? Do they resemble a genuine pumpkin in some way? Why "Muffin" or "Cookie"? Are these their favorite snacks? If that is the case, then what if the person's favorite food is chicken or papaya? Point blank, food inspired terms of endearment are ridiculous.
If you must use a term of endearment, make it original and mean something to you. For example, my father's personal term of endearment for my stepmother is "Tweak". Not because she does drugs! She is called Tweak because she has a squeaky voice sometimes and used to drink coffee five times a day to the point where she was always shaking from the caffeine overdose.
Come up with a personal term of endearment for your current loved one. Of course, it is expected that the term may very well end up something mundane and simple like "Cookie" or "Teddy", but the point is that it should mean something to you and them. It is a simple symbol of your endearment for one another.
My thoughts on this are as follows: what is wrong with your significant other's name? Well, their name can be ugly. Yes, names can be ugly i.e. Dick, Bob, Curtis. Be honest, if you can't call their name out without cringing or turning red from embarrassment, then they definitely need a nickname. Or, maybe their name is just one of the hundred common names out there i.e. Michelle, Sarah, Ashley, Brian, John, Michael, etc. If they have one of these common names, obviously you wouldn't want to call them by it because god forbid you are in the middle of the street and you call their name and 5 heads turns your way. However, the same can be said of the common terms of endearment I listed above.
Basically, there is no winning with terms of endearment. I am guilty of calling my ex "Sweetheart" and he of calling me "Babe". My father and stepmother use cutesy names "Honey" and "Sweetheart." One of my best friends terms of endearment for each other were "Mr. and Mrs. Babe".
But, most of all, nothing is worse than using Ghetto terms of endearment. Firstly, Ghetto language makes no sense half the time. A legitimate word is taken and used in a way that has nothing to do with it's original meaning. Take "Shorty", for example. "Short" is the opposite of tall, a synonym for small, especially in reference to the height of something. In most relationships, the female is usually shorter, so I guess that is why the term "Shorty" was thought up. However, calling your 5'11 girlfriend "Shorty" is just plain stupid. "Ma", in Ghetto speak, is short for "Baby Mama" or "Mamasita"(little mama). Now, I'm not sure how well you are familiar with psychology, but the underlying intent and meaning for these names are very clear and since you may not get it, I will tell you. Statistically, the parenting styles of the lower class New York families are very poor. As such, the children of now and the future are growing up without genuine mother and father figures. Ghetto males seek out the repeat images of their mothers, young women who made bad choices and got knocked up. They are also subconsciously looking for someone to take care of them. Hence, they search for their "Baby Mama" to mother their children and "Mamasita"s to give them the love and care they crave.
While, nothing is worse than Ghetto terms of endearment, nothing is more sickening and embarrassing as food inspired names. Why call someone "Pumpkin"? Are they shaped like one? Do they resemble a genuine pumpkin in some way? Why "Muffin" or "Cookie"? Are these their favorite snacks? If that is the case, then what if the person's favorite food is chicken or papaya? Point blank, food inspired terms of endearment are ridiculous.
If you must use a term of endearment, make it original and mean something to you. For example, my father's personal term of endearment for my stepmother is "Tweak". Not because she does drugs! She is called Tweak because she has a squeaky voice sometimes and used to drink coffee five times a day to the point where she was always shaking from the caffeine overdose.
Come up with a personal term of endearment for your current loved one. Of course, it is expected that the term may very well end up something mundane and simple like "Cookie" or "Teddy", but the point is that it should mean something to you and them. It is a simple symbol of your endearment for one another.
Friday, May 11, 2012
Mercedes Strollers
What is it with mothers and the designer strollers nowadays? You know what I'm talking about: the gigantic strollers that take up the entire sidewalk. What ever happened the good old-fashioned $30 strollers that fold up like an umbrella? Those strollers meet the needs a stroller is supposed to be for: baby transportation. Who decided those weren't good enough anymore? And, who decided that only these expensive designer strollers aka Mercedes Strollers (as I dubbed them) were the new thing every mommy needs?
They're annoying! They get in the goddamn way. If I'm walking down a street, I want to be able to continue my path, not dodge out of the way of an incoming stroller. That's just ridiculous.
It's even more ridiculous because these mothers spend hundreds and, possibly, thousands of dollars on these Mercedes Strollers so they can look rich and sophisticated, when in over a year that baby they bought the stroller for is going to be walking all on their own. They won't need the stroller anymore.
Ok, so they might save it for their future babies if they are planning on having them. Or, since they were rich enough to buy that stroller, I'm going to go ahead and say- they won't save it. Rich people have no sense of preservation. They want fresh things, new things, all the time. Do they donate their strollers when they no longer want them? Maybe, maybe not.
All I know is that I would never get a Mercedes Stroller. I would be so embarrassed pushing that gigantic thing around. It's obnoxious.
Why can't these rich moms carry their babies? Is it because their babies are not fashion friendly? Is that it? Is it not fashionable to carry your baby? No, that can't possibly be it, because if it is fashionable to carry a miniature dog in your designer bag, it must be fashionable to carry your baby- all you have to do it dress it up in expensive fashionable clothes.
Lady, you carried your baby around for nine months. I'm sure you can carry your baby around for another year while they are learning to walk. Besides the baby lifting will burn the calories of pregnancy-weight you gained, it'll be helpful to get your pre-baby body back.
If you're too lazy or weak to carry your own offspring, don't buy an expensive stroller. Buy a $30 stroller that does the same exact thing as the Mercedes ones. Use the money you were going to spend on that stroller for something better like more baby supplies, or a college trust fund for your bundle of joy, or a charity of some kind.
Rich moms please stop buying Mercedes strollers and getting in everyone's way! I'm sure it's a hassle. I see you struggling to push the damned things. Save yourself the humiliation and money. Be cheap and stay a little more richer, while also keeping the streets a little less crowded without your gigantic hassle in the way.
They're annoying! They get in the goddamn way. If I'm walking down a street, I want to be able to continue my path, not dodge out of the way of an incoming stroller. That's just ridiculous.
It's even more ridiculous because these mothers spend hundreds and, possibly, thousands of dollars on these Mercedes Strollers so they can look rich and sophisticated, when in over a year that baby they bought the stroller for is going to be walking all on their own. They won't need the stroller anymore.
Ok, so they might save it for their future babies if they are planning on having them. Or, since they were rich enough to buy that stroller, I'm going to go ahead and say- they won't save it. Rich people have no sense of preservation. They want fresh things, new things, all the time. Do they donate their strollers when they no longer want them? Maybe, maybe not.
All I know is that I would never get a Mercedes Stroller. I would be so embarrassed pushing that gigantic thing around. It's obnoxious.
Why can't these rich moms carry their babies? Is it because their babies are not fashion friendly? Is that it? Is it not fashionable to carry your baby? No, that can't possibly be it, because if it is fashionable to carry a miniature dog in your designer bag, it must be fashionable to carry your baby- all you have to do it dress it up in expensive fashionable clothes.
Lady, you carried your baby around for nine months. I'm sure you can carry your baby around for another year while they are learning to walk. Besides the baby lifting will burn the calories of pregnancy-weight you gained, it'll be helpful to get your pre-baby body back.
If you're too lazy or weak to carry your own offspring, don't buy an expensive stroller. Buy a $30 stroller that does the same exact thing as the Mercedes ones. Use the money you were going to spend on that stroller for something better like more baby supplies, or a college trust fund for your bundle of joy, or a charity of some kind.
Rich moms please stop buying Mercedes strollers and getting in everyone's way! I'm sure it's a hassle. I see you struggling to push the damned things. Save yourself the humiliation and money. Be cheap and stay a little more richer, while also keeping the streets a little less crowded without your gigantic hassle in the way.
How to be the Worst Customer
Working in a fast food industry is always a pain. You get paid minimum wage to overexert yourself, deal with all assortments and levels of pricks (and I use this word as a non vulgar synonym for a**hole, not the European slang for penis), and smell terrible at the end of your shift. But out of all the three things that suck about your food industry job, the worst is dealing with the non ideal customer.
In short, what is the ideal customer: someone who knows what they want, how to order it, and has their money ready. They get bonus points for being polite and speaking the same language. What do these "bonus" points earn you? Well, they guarantee that the employee won't curse you out when their back is turned getting your food. And besides, everyone should know the golden rule with dealing with any food industry: DON'T F*CK WITH PEOPLE WHO HANDLE YOUR FOOD. If you have to ask why, then I'm sorry to inform you- but you're an idiot.
So, let's go through a list of the things customers in a fast food industry should and should not do:
1.) Don't be on the phone. It's rude. You went to the store because your wanted to ingest something. The employees are trying to service you and here you are on the phone. It takes less than a minute to order what you want. If you don't want to call someone back, simply tell the person to "hold on a minute". Then you cover the phone with your hand and order your food and drink. DO NOT WHISPER your order. It may sound nice and quiet on your side of the counter but on the other side, where there are hard working employees, there exist MANY LOUD MACHINES. These loud machines make it difficult to hear whispered orders. So speak up unless you want to be charged the wrong thing. Also, DO NOT MOUTH your order. Fast food industry employees do not moonlight as government mouth readers, nor are they psychic. They don't know what you want. Use your voice and tell them what it is you want and then be on your way.
2.) Don't stand on line if you're not ready to order. Do not waste anyone's time by standing in front of the register staring up at the menus trying to figure out what you want. Stand back, look, and figure it out- then proceed to the register.
3.) Don't stand on line if you are not ordering. If you are simply there with a friend, DO NOT STAND ON LINE. Great. Cool. You're an awesome friend. You came with them to order food and keep them company. You deserve an award. If you want to waste space and insist on being with your friend every step of the way to the register, then stand BESIDE them, NOT BEHIND. Standing behind your friend signals to the employees that you want to order something as well, so they will focus on you. If you are not ordering something, don't make them waste their precious seconds on you. Remember: BESIDE, NOT BEHIND.
4.) Pay attention! Whether you be on your phone, with a friend or friends, or just daydreaming, while waiting on line- PAY ATTENTION. Too often have customers zoned out while they where waiting on line and created an even longer line because they failed to notice they were in fact next to order. ALSO, PAY ATTENTION TO THE ORDER YOU ARE PICKING UP. Make sure it is in fact what you ordered and not what you assume is yours. Because, you didn't pay attention and took the wrong order you single-handedly have disrupted the flow of service and wasted time, effort, and resources. If you have done so: Congratulations, you are a d*ck.
5.) Please have your form of payment ready. By the time you get to the register you should have your wallet out, ready to purchase your items. If you don't, you have failed at multi-tasking and proceeded to waste precious seconds and even minutes of several people's lives. It takes time to get the correct amount of cash out of your wallet. It takes time for the employee to count it. Please, don't waste anyone's time and have your payments ready.
6.) Don't throw or put your payment on the counter. First off, it's f*cking rude as hell if you just throw the form of payment. Second, if you put the payment on the counter, it's a hassle to pick back up. Employees will extend their arm out to you and accept the payment. Put it in their hand. Employees are courteous and hand your change back to you by placing it in your hand. How would you feel if they just chucked the card or change onto the counter at you? Yeah, not great. You would think they had an attitude problem. Well, that's exactly how they think of you when you toss your sh*t onto the counter.
7.) Don't get mad if you don't speak the language. I get it. You're a tourist and you don't speak the language. That's fine. That is ok. Take your time and try to explain what it is you want. But, do not get upset with the employees because you are having communication issues. They will take the time to understand what it is you want, so long as you take the time to explain and understand to the fullest what it is you want. But once you get mad, that's when all the patience of the employee disappears, because if anyone should be mad- it should be the employee. You are the foreigner that came to their country without speaking the language (not a smart move). So if anyone is at fault- it is you.
8.) Don't have an attitude. I don't care how bad your day was. I don't care if someone in your family died or you caught your spouse cheating or whatever else. It is not the fault of the employee of the fast food industry that you JUST walked into. This employee, who probably was up at 5am in morning and is working a double shift, has been on their feet for hours, walking back and forth, talking nonstop to get other customers' orders, and doing more things than they are rightly getting paid for. Basically, they are working harder than you. Yeah, I said it. They are not sitting in a central aired cubicle unit in spiffy clothes that will probably still smell good at the end of the day. They are not sitting on their ass for their entire shift. These fast food industry employees literally have to sweat for their money. And, before you came along with your attitude, they probably already had their sixth b*tch of the day come in and cause trouble. They don't need you and your insecurities with yourself and life to further ruin theirs. So, do yourself a favor and take a breather before you barrel into the place and demand your orders because one of these days, an employee might just snap and poison you.
9.) Don't throw a fit if your order is wrong. Sh*t happens. People make mistakes. The employees taking and making your orders are humans and even if they aren't (machines make mistakes, too) there is no reason to cause a scene like a drama queen. Just calmly go back to the counter and inform the employee that there has been a mistake and your order is wrong. They will, of course and without a doubt, fix it. Problem solved.
So, there you have it. Follow these rules and you are basically the golden customer. Don't follow them and well, I can only hope that you do get poisoned to teach you a lesson.
In short, what is the ideal customer: someone who knows what they want, how to order it, and has their money ready. They get bonus points for being polite and speaking the same language. What do these "bonus" points earn you? Well, they guarantee that the employee won't curse you out when their back is turned getting your food. And besides, everyone should know the golden rule with dealing with any food industry: DON'T F*CK WITH PEOPLE WHO HANDLE YOUR FOOD. If you have to ask why, then I'm sorry to inform you- but you're an idiot.
So, let's go through a list of the things customers in a fast food industry should and should not do:
1.) Don't be on the phone. It's rude. You went to the store because your wanted to ingest something. The employees are trying to service you and here you are on the phone. It takes less than a minute to order what you want. If you don't want to call someone back, simply tell the person to "hold on a minute". Then you cover the phone with your hand and order your food and drink. DO NOT WHISPER your order. It may sound nice and quiet on your side of the counter but on the other side, where there are hard working employees, there exist MANY LOUD MACHINES. These loud machines make it difficult to hear whispered orders. So speak up unless you want to be charged the wrong thing. Also, DO NOT MOUTH your order. Fast food industry employees do not moonlight as government mouth readers, nor are they psychic. They don't know what you want. Use your voice and tell them what it is you want and then be on your way.
2.) Don't stand on line if you're not ready to order. Do not waste anyone's time by standing in front of the register staring up at the menus trying to figure out what you want. Stand back, look, and figure it out- then proceed to the register.
3.) Don't stand on line if you are not ordering. If you are simply there with a friend, DO NOT STAND ON LINE. Great. Cool. You're an awesome friend. You came with them to order food and keep them company. You deserve an award. If you want to waste space and insist on being with your friend every step of the way to the register, then stand BESIDE them, NOT BEHIND. Standing behind your friend signals to the employees that you want to order something as well, so they will focus on you. If you are not ordering something, don't make them waste their precious seconds on you. Remember: BESIDE, NOT BEHIND.
4.) Pay attention! Whether you be on your phone, with a friend or friends, or just daydreaming, while waiting on line- PAY ATTENTION. Too often have customers zoned out while they where waiting on line and created an even longer line because they failed to notice they were in fact next to order. ALSO, PAY ATTENTION TO THE ORDER YOU ARE PICKING UP. Make sure it is in fact what you ordered and not what you assume is yours. Because, you didn't pay attention and took the wrong order you single-handedly have disrupted the flow of service and wasted time, effort, and resources. If you have done so: Congratulations, you are a d*ck.
5.) Please have your form of payment ready. By the time you get to the register you should have your wallet out, ready to purchase your items. If you don't, you have failed at multi-tasking and proceeded to waste precious seconds and even minutes of several people's lives. It takes time to get the correct amount of cash out of your wallet. It takes time for the employee to count it. Please, don't waste anyone's time and have your payments ready.
6.) Don't throw or put your payment on the counter. First off, it's f*cking rude as hell if you just throw the form of payment. Second, if you put the payment on the counter, it's a hassle to pick back up. Employees will extend their arm out to you and accept the payment. Put it in their hand. Employees are courteous and hand your change back to you by placing it in your hand. How would you feel if they just chucked the card or change onto the counter at you? Yeah, not great. You would think they had an attitude problem. Well, that's exactly how they think of you when you toss your sh*t onto the counter.
7.) Don't get mad if you don't speak the language. I get it. You're a tourist and you don't speak the language. That's fine. That is ok. Take your time and try to explain what it is you want. But, do not get upset with the employees because you are having communication issues. They will take the time to understand what it is you want, so long as you take the time to explain and understand to the fullest what it is you want. But once you get mad, that's when all the patience of the employee disappears, because if anyone should be mad- it should be the employee. You are the foreigner that came to their country without speaking the language (not a smart move). So if anyone is at fault- it is you.
8.) Don't have an attitude. I don't care how bad your day was. I don't care if someone in your family died or you caught your spouse cheating or whatever else. It is not the fault of the employee of the fast food industry that you JUST walked into. This employee, who probably was up at 5am in morning and is working a double shift, has been on their feet for hours, walking back and forth, talking nonstop to get other customers' orders, and doing more things than they are rightly getting paid for. Basically, they are working harder than you. Yeah, I said it. They are not sitting in a central aired cubicle unit in spiffy clothes that will probably still smell good at the end of the day. They are not sitting on their ass for their entire shift. These fast food industry employees literally have to sweat for their money. And, before you came along with your attitude, they probably already had their sixth b*tch of the day come in and cause trouble. They don't need you and your insecurities with yourself and life to further ruin theirs. So, do yourself a favor and take a breather before you barrel into the place and demand your orders because one of these days, an employee might just snap and poison you.
9.) Don't throw a fit if your order is wrong. Sh*t happens. People make mistakes. The employees taking and making your orders are humans and even if they aren't (machines make mistakes, too) there is no reason to cause a scene like a drama queen. Just calmly go back to the counter and inform the employee that there has been a mistake and your order is wrong. They will, of course and without a doubt, fix it. Problem solved.
So, there you have it. Follow these rules and you are basically the golden customer. Don't follow them and well, I can only hope that you do get poisoned to teach you a lesson.
Love of Reading and Writing
I figure it's only fitting to have my first blog ever about how I got here. Here meaning, here at this moment writing at my desk on a blog I thought I'd never have.
I come from a family where the divorce rate is four out of five and all the mothers have custody over their offspring. My aunts and mother all employ different parenting styles: The Tight Leash 1 (never allowed to go out), The Tight Leash 2 (you must call me every hour), Free Range (do whatever you want, just be responsible), and Abandonment (I know I gave birth to you, but I'm just going to move across country and leave you here so I can go live with my internet boyfriend who I have never met before).
My mother was a huge fan of the Tight Leash 1 method. I was never allowed to go out with friends when I was younger. It wasn't until 10th grade when I finally began to lie to my mother about where I was going and what I was doing that I actually made friends and hung out.
So, what did I do prior to all my pent-up shenanigans in 10th grade? Well, if you haven't guessed from the title of this blog then you must have some logic issues.
I read. I read a lot. I read fantasy and science fiction books. I was always reading something when I was younger and even now, I am always reading (several books at a time if you can believe it, and no, it is not impossible). And, from all the imaginary ideas I consumed from the books I read, I began to make my own characters. From there I made a world they belonged in. I created situations they needed to deal with. I became a writer at the age of nine.
Unfortunately, I don't have anything from way back then. My teachers and professors had a habit of not returning creative writing assignments... Odd...
But, I also have a long standing love-hate relationship with computers. Before laptops and USB storage units where as common as they are now, I did type my stories on a DELL desktop. Did I expect my desktop to get a virus from the crappy dial-up service that was our only option at the time? No, I did not. And, because I did not expect that to happen, I did not save my work on a floppy disk. So, what happened when the only solution to fix the sick desktop was to erase the entire memory board? I LOST EVERYTHING.
I don't know about other creative persons, but when I lose a piece of work, I feel like I literally lost a tiny piece of my soul. No, I am not exaggerating. A crappy desktop and virus had ruined my life two more times after the above mentioned experience. And, each time, I lost a piece of myself. It's not easy to recover what was lost. When you create something, you put your heart into it and a fragment of your soul flows into your piece. Your achieve a sense of accomplishment, a sense of immortality- you are leaving your mark to be remembered and known, to express yourself. For an artist to lose something of theirs (not sell or given away, lose), it's like being thrown into the abyss, not knowing where to go or what to do. You can't heal the loss of a piece of your soul. You just learn to deal with it.
So I'm dealing with it. I now have a MACBOOK and five USB storage units so a virus and crappy computer will never ruin my life ever again. Take that you immature computer nerds who had nothing better to do with your life than create viruses to ruin other people's lives! You can hurt me no more! (Hopefully.... these losers are clever...)
So, why fantasy and science fiction or just fictional stories in general? Easy answer: Reality is depressing and boring enough. I live in life. It's not fun or exciting. A dragon egg isn't going to appear in my house, my carpet isn't going to suddenly develop floating powers, and my ring doesn't rule them all. I didn't grow up in a warm and happy household. I hated school. I work forty hour weeks to just barely survive. And, I live in a world where war over a stupid issue is an ocean away. So, the real question is: Why would I NOT read fantasy and fiction books to escape this less than pleasant world?
Fantasy and fiction stories allow one to escape and go on adventures that are not possible. They can help a person grow and mature in a safe way. Fantasy and fiction books are for me what movies, cartoons, videogames, extreme sports, and television series are for other people.
Now, I'm not delusional and I don't see imaginary characters or things. I simply read about them and write about them because it makes me happy and calms my inner being- otherwise I would be out there becoming a serial mass murderer.
So, there you have it. The long version of how I came to be here writing this blog. But, I also want to give a shout out to the customer that is basically the reason I am here attempting to get myself out there by blogging. He is a customer of mine that I see when I work on Sundays in his neon green bicycle outfit getting a breakfast sandwich in a bag. I'm sorry I don't know your name, but I want to thank you for taking an interest in me and what I do. Thank you.
I come from a family where the divorce rate is four out of five and all the mothers have custody over their offspring. My aunts and mother all employ different parenting styles: The Tight Leash 1 (never allowed to go out), The Tight Leash 2 (you must call me every hour), Free Range (do whatever you want, just be responsible), and Abandonment (I know I gave birth to you, but I'm just going to move across country and leave you here so I can go live with my internet boyfriend who I have never met before).
My mother was a huge fan of the Tight Leash 1 method. I was never allowed to go out with friends when I was younger. It wasn't until 10th grade when I finally began to lie to my mother about where I was going and what I was doing that I actually made friends and hung out.
So, what did I do prior to all my pent-up shenanigans in 10th grade? Well, if you haven't guessed from the title of this blog then you must have some logic issues.
I read. I read a lot. I read fantasy and science fiction books. I was always reading something when I was younger and even now, I am always reading (several books at a time if you can believe it, and no, it is not impossible). And, from all the imaginary ideas I consumed from the books I read, I began to make my own characters. From there I made a world they belonged in. I created situations they needed to deal with. I became a writer at the age of nine.
Unfortunately, I don't have anything from way back then. My teachers and professors had a habit of not returning creative writing assignments... Odd...
But, I also have a long standing love-hate relationship with computers. Before laptops and USB storage units where as common as they are now, I did type my stories on a DELL desktop. Did I expect my desktop to get a virus from the crappy dial-up service that was our only option at the time? No, I did not. And, because I did not expect that to happen, I did not save my work on a floppy disk. So, what happened when the only solution to fix the sick desktop was to erase the entire memory board? I LOST EVERYTHING.
I don't know about other creative persons, but when I lose a piece of work, I feel like I literally lost a tiny piece of my soul. No, I am not exaggerating. A crappy desktop and virus had ruined my life two more times after the above mentioned experience. And, each time, I lost a piece of myself. It's not easy to recover what was lost. When you create something, you put your heart into it and a fragment of your soul flows into your piece. Your achieve a sense of accomplishment, a sense of immortality- you are leaving your mark to be remembered and known, to express yourself. For an artist to lose something of theirs (not sell or given away, lose), it's like being thrown into the abyss, not knowing where to go or what to do. You can't heal the loss of a piece of your soul. You just learn to deal with it.
So I'm dealing with it. I now have a MACBOOK and five USB storage units so a virus and crappy computer will never ruin my life ever again. Take that you immature computer nerds who had nothing better to do with your life than create viruses to ruin other people's lives! You can hurt me no more! (Hopefully.... these losers are clever...)
So, why fantasy and science fiction or just fictional stories in general? Easy answer: Reality is depressing and boring enough. I live in life. It's not fun or exciting. A dragon egg isn't going to appear in my house, my carpet isn't going to suddenly develop floating powers, and my ring doesn't rule them all. I didn't grow up in a warm and happy household. I hated school. I work forty hour weeks to just barely survive. And, I live in a world where war over a stupid issue is an ocean away. So, the real question is: Why would I NOT read fantasy and fiction books to escape this less than pleasant world?
Fantasy and fiction stories allow one to escape and go on adventures that are not possible. They can help a person grow and mature in a safe way. Fantasy and fiction books are for me what movies, cartoons, videogames, extreme sports, and television series are for other people.
Now, I'm not delusional and I don't see imaginary characters or things. I simply read about them and write about them because it makes me happy and calms my inner being- otherwise I would be out there becoming a serial mass murderer.
So, there you have it. The long version of how I came to be here writing this blog. But, I also want to give a shout out to the customer that is basically the reason I am here attempting to get myself out there by blogging. He is a customer of mine that I see when I work on Sundays in his neon green bicycle outfit getting a breakfast sandwich in a bag. I'm sorry I don't know your name, but I want to thank you for taking an interest in me and what I do. Thank you.
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