Growing up with my Chinese side, I was never subjected to real family drama. The most drama that went around with them was that my Chinese grandmother acts like an overgrown child and annoyed the hell out of everyone. To that statement I will agree, she gets under your skin and just.... shreds your mind with her high pitched yelling voice and need to repeat everything over and over. But, aside from her... my mother and her two sisters are close and they speak and gossip everyday about all their children. There are two lost aunts who live in their own worlds and aren't really included in family functions, but that is their decision. Even so, there is no drama between anyone in my Chinese side of my family. I grew up with this life of no drama and animosity between my family members so it's always shocking when I go to visit my Spanish side of the family and see the opposite.
Chinese people do not celebrate holidays. Sure Americanized families get together and eat a meal, but it's not the traditional American Thanksgiving of turkeys, mashed potatoes, corn, sweet potatoes and pumpkin pies. So, in all my life, I never had a proper Thanksgiving. So, in light of my future plans of moving to L.A. and trying to settle in, I know I won't be traveling to visit any family for the next couple of years until I'm fully settled and nested in my new home. This is quite literally the only chance I have of having a real Thanksgiving with my Spanish family. As such, I have put aside my pescatarianism to consume meat, because there is no such thing as a pescatarian Spanish family. I would starve here if I continued to be a priss like that.
And, being pescatarian isn't a religious choice. I chose to slowly cut meat out of my diet, not because it's unhealthy for you, but because I don't like the idea of eating another living thing. Because the truth is, the animals will be killed irregardless of cruelty or supply. Humans are meant to be carnivorous and also eat plants. It is our species' evolution. And, besides with all the animals being killed out there someone has to eat it. I just choose for that someone to not be me. I don't care if anyone else eats meat. Hell, I can't kick eating salmon and shrimp. I know I will eventually, but definitely not anytime soon. So, all I'd have to worry about is, eating plants, and killing them.
Anyway, back to the Spanish family and their animosity towards certain other members. In this aspect I am the Swiss. I am Australia. I am neutral territory. I both abhor and am thankful for the way my mother raised me, because she taught me to be a proper independent child who was obedient and quiet. And, as such a child, every single family member I have loves me because I always behaved and helped around their houses. And as a such loved child, all my family members babied me and spoiled me, making me love them all in return. So, when I hear so and so dislikes so and so, it slightly bothers me. And, I know they confide their true feelings in me because I am a good listener and they want me to know the reason why they feel these emotions, and sure they can be justified to that person, but to me, even if it is true, I cannot hate any of my family members. I love them all. I may not show it, because I am not an emotional person or warm, but I do care.
I have a divided united family. Yes, a divided united family. I have divorced parents, but a huge family who stretches across the typical social boundaries to stay united. And, yes that causes many relationships to strain, but atleast there is family so catch you if you fall. If so and so hates so and so, it won't matter because in the end, you have that one tie to keep you together and you can't sever it. And, yes, they tell me they hate so and so, but you know what.... it's not just hate. It's also love.
I have come to the conclusion that all the rants I hear about how this family member sucks and is aweful, etc, it's out of love and disappointment. The person is disappointed that the other could be such a failure, when they could be so much more. And, they hate them because there was love, but that was strained because of all the disappointment that was felt towards that person.
I know, I talked in circles in this post. But, I can't mention certain family members, because they could be read and I'm not opening that can of worms.
No comments:
Post a Comment