The Rumor Mill

     Rumors are the life blood of society. Some rumors are spread by mistake and purely unintentional, while others are spread purposely. Society feeds on rumors; for without rumors, there would be nothing really to discuss.
     Ugly rumors are spread by people with a vendetta, whose hearts are filled with hate. I know this. I may have done so myself. I am after all only human. But, I do try to refrain.
     There is always one rumor flying around about me. And, I am very well aware of what it is. I am always rumored to be a whore. And, of course, it is not true. I have in fact only had four sexual partners. For my age range, that is a very low number.
     So, why then, do people say I am a whore? Because I hang out with the male gender too much. Plain and simple. I hang out with males, because female mentality is beyond my scope of tolerance. I think more along the male mindset, then I do female. Hell, I act more like a male than I do female. Being around men has just proven to be less drama and emotional. Being around males is just more chill and relaxing. We play video games, talk, watch movies, joke around, etc. It's hard to find females that do the same without having a sudden debate about a relationship and morals.
     So I like to talk to and hang out with males. And, it threatens other females. It makes them think that I am after their partner. No. No. I don't want your partner. I just want to chill and be friends. If I wanted your partner sexually. I do like to believe that I would not attempt anything because I frown upon cheating.
     But, I am not to be trusted, according to those females, because men are not to be trusted. And, therefore I cannot be trusted to be left alone with a male. When in fact, I have slept in the same bed with men and never so much as shared a kiss, let alone felt up or cuddled or had sex.
     I can sit here and defend myself until I am blue in the face. But, rumors are rumors and people listen to those more than truth. Everyone has "proof" or "statements" supporting rumors. But the fact is most rumors are lies, no matter what support they have. And, it is pettiness to continue with rumors when deep down you know the truth.
     Rumors are damaging to say the least. They can take down innocent people. They can hurt people that don't deserve it. Fact is, only petty people spread lies and rumors. And, it is always people you only "somewhat" know, because people that do know you fully are either your friends who disbelieve the rumors or the betrayers that started it.
     I have nothing to hide. I have no reasons to lie. I make it a point to not give cause for speculation because I want to avoid drama at all costs. I despise webs of deceit and would rather not ever play a role in weaving them. But, I did. I did spin one, because I trusted the wrong person. And from trusting the wrong person much hate has been brewed because of the lies. Fingers point left and right blaming him and her. When in reality, if we all just refused to lie and pretend none of this would have happened. And there would be no rumors or scathing remarks on anyone's integrity.

What is "Love of my Life"

     What does "love of my life" mean? It has already been established that the majority of the human race throws round the word "love" when they don't mean it; but now I find myself hearing "love of my life" more frequently now.

     How has "love" become to diminished in meaning? Back in the days of black and white views on morals, love was only said, when it was truly meant. Now, in this day and age of technicolor and racing pulses and impulses, love is thrown around and definitely does not mean anything anymore. Love- "real" love is dead. 

     But now, people are throwing around "love of my life" and it is starting to piss me off. Society has already decreased the value of other terms of endearment and affection, now "love of my life" is well out the door. 

     Why does it bother me so much? Because that phrase is coming out of the mouth of young people. Teens, young adults, middle-aged adults- they are all saying "love of my life". If you are not grey or white in the head and over the age of 50 at least- you have not lived your damned life. You are still alive- not on your death bed (at least I hope not), you cannot say if someone is the "love of your life" if you have not lived it yet. 

     I get it, you want to be romantic. You have these deep feelings for someone and the only way to convey it is to use the most powerful word we know- which is "love". But, the subconscious of society has already realized the damage it has done to the word, so now we alter it a bit. We've altered "love" to "love of my life" to try and give it back the purity it used to have. 

     All for nothing. Because, just as its core word, that phrase is now being misused. 

     Couples always want to say, their partner is the love of their life. They planned on marriage; they are married; they have kids together; they grew up together. Sadly, that doesn't mean anything. 

The only way you can trust the words "love of my life" from someone else's mouth is if you are by the bedside of a dying person; or, if you are the child of a person, because all children should naturally be the love of any parent's life. 

     I used to believe in the purity of love. I, myself, refrain from using it unless I am sure of my feelings. I am never the first to say "I love you". I will always wait no matter how long it takes, because for me, love is still rare and important. You should only love people that are a part of your soul. And, you cannot let anyone- just anyone, be a part of you.

     The love of your life should be someone you spent your whole life searching for, waiting for. The love of your life should make you feel and think in ways you never felt. The love of your life never disappears, even in death. The love of your life is unique. The love of your life is not easy to come by. You need to earn it, because finding it and acknowledging and accepting it- is a journey.