Yes, I know; the title of this post sounds like a children's story. But, it's not. I don't even call myself a "witch", yet it is what people refer to me as. I am Pagan. I don't practice magic spells or stand over a cauldron mixing elixirs to help me. Yes, there are Pagans that do that and yes, that makes them witches. But, I am not one of them- not that that is a bad thing. I would gladly exercise witchy qualities- if I had my own place and space to conduct them.
My point for this post is to express how lonely I am- being Pagan in this day and age. I am the only Pagan among my friends. I have no coven or group to go to. I've tried to look online for groups- because I genuinely want to learn the truth behind the mysticism of most Pagan beliefs. Alas, I have found are frauds- hippies pretending to be in tuned with Mother Earth so it gives them an excuse to smoke weed, do shrooms, and dance naked in the forest. That's not Pagan- that's ridiculous. All these false believers- impostors pretending to know things, when all they do is read ancient books and quote them to try and sound mysterious.
I want a teacher to help me learn where the stories come from. I want them to sit me down and explain why these herbs work best for this and not that. I want my teacher to take my hand and lead me down a forest path to show me a fairy ring. But, I know this is all wishful thinking.
Current times prevent people from burning me at the stake, but religious people still frown upon anyone who does not believe in the "one god". Does my religion really make me that much of a different person? I am still human. I still have feelings. I still have morals.
Why, then am I treated so different? I wear my belief on my sleeve- literally. The pagan star is tatted on my wrist. You can't miss it. I have seen many people eye it with distaste. That is not fair. I don't scoff at your crucifixes on your throats. Mind you- the cross is a more morbid symbol than the pentagram.
Many people believe that Paganism is Satanism and they could not be more wrong. I do not worship Satan or Lucifer. I worship nothing but the Earth and its wonders. But, the monotheistic religions that govern 85% of our world would lead its people to believe Paganism and Satanism are the one and same, but it is false.
I truly believe that one day when I am long dead, Paganism will rise as the one true religion again. It is the one religion that does not persecute. It is the one religion that accepts all as they are. It is the religion that allows everything to just be.
I wish I could see it one day... that glorious day when truth is spoken and the Earth is healed. But, until then I just pray for a teacher who is not a false practitioner. I also wish that I was not judged for my beliefs. Judge me for my mean demeanor, but not for my religion. I can handle being lonely because I am perceived as a bitch, but I cannot bear to be sad because others cannot respect my beliefs and fear me because of their ignorance.
I am lonely in my beliefs and I wish I wasn't.
